Everybody’s Talking About Jamie (2021), but not about the music

As someone who claims to like discovering new cinematic experiences, it does good to watch a film that really isn’t aimed at you from time to time. So, I ended up watching a musical that was causing a lot of fuss and wasn’t the one I’m trying to raise money for Crisis with. The end result was mostly enjoyable, but it was very far nearer a call than I expected.
Continue reading

Anna And The Apocalypse (2017)

Horror movies have always traded on two key things; novelty and transgression. They’ve also always held a dark secret; the more “high concept” those two are, the more likely it is that a film will try to trade on those elements alone and not bother to actually be any good in and of itself. So, it’s with great joy and relief that I can confirm that this zombie musical coming-of-age Christmas movie is also a great movie. Well, assuming that you like the idea of multiple song-and-dance numbers mixed with blood-soaked scenes of walking dead induced slaughter.
Continue reading

Meet The Feebles (1989)

Before being corrupted by Hollywood, and forever tainted by the evil of production budgets, Peter Jackson had a highly respectable career in New Zealand cinema as the foremost auteur of splatter comedy. Bad Taste, with it’s exploding sheep was his breakthrough moment, and Braindead arguably the highlights of his filmography and unarguably the bloodiest film ever at that time. But it’s his adventure into the world of puppetry that is “Meet The Feebles” that got run through the Trash or Treasure grinder this time, because what we really need right now is a meanspirited laugh and a hippo with a machine gun.
Continue reading

The Mamma Mia! Reviews

Before I get into this review, I want to make a couple of things very clear.

  1. Thank you to everyone who donated to Shelter to make me go through the “experience” of watching these two movies. I think it cannot be overstated that without your money I would never have done this. And if you haven’t donated: don’t worry, there is still time!!
  2. If you like ABBA then please don’t consider this a shot at the band. They aren’t my cup of tea, mostly because in my opinion, if they were tea then they would be the kind that’s made by showing hot water a tea bag for a second and gets presented to great disapproval from your Gran who was quietly listening to some Slayer. But I can accept that ABBA are very good at their job.
  3. If you like the live musical Mamma Mia!, accept that this isn’t a shot at that either. I wouldn’t want to go see it myself but it takes skill and talent to do this kind of thing live, so watching any stage show gets to be impressive by the default of raw human accomplishment. I’m not a fan of jukebox musicals, I’m not a fan of ABBA, but I’ll still tip my hat to those involved in that kind of performance.

So, with that in mind, here’s how I feel after 221 minutes of having my mind hammered into stunned silence by some of the most high-gloss mediocrity I’ve come across.
Continue reading

Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001)

It feels good to go outside of your comfort zone, so as a straight punk-rocker I thought that it was about time I entered into a world that I’m not especially versed in and, to be honest, don’t always feel comfortable with: Rock Opera. And cause its LGBTQ+ History month, and I’ve been having the name pop up on my radar for as long as I can remember, I thought I’d give the film of the “Off-Broadway*” classic, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, a try. Written, directed, and starring the co-writer and star of the theatrical version – John Cameron Mitchell – it was a box office bomb. This was almost certainly because it was released in 2001 and is about an East German “girly boy” who’s rocking their way through late 80s and early 90s America, to stalk their now-famous ex-boyfriend. Still, if it was a big success I wouldn’t get to enthuse about it here.
Continue reading

Cats (2019)

Yeah, I got bribed/sponsored into watching this one as well. However this time it wasn’t my choice of film, and my “delightful” readers decided I needed to watch Cats: the CarCrash dejour of the end of the year. Whilst others had the glory of watching it on opening night or ripped off their tits on an assortment of drugs, I got to do it on a damp Monday with one coffee to keep me going. I have to say that waiting for that coffee was the highlight of my trip.
Continue reading

Teenape Vs The Monster Nazi Apocalypse (2012)

I uncovered this film because someone asked me if there were any King Kong Vs Nazi films. I couldn’t find any such a thing, but I did find this 78-minute Z-movie masterpiece. Produced in the halcyon days of 2012, when having Nazis in a film wasn’t a political statement but an excuse to be brutally violent towards the obviously-bad guys, it’s a near-perfect, no-budget bit of filmmaking that just does its own thing. Its own thing is brutally stupid violence and a plot that feels like Hellboy on some very bad drugs. So, please be warned; this is not for the faint-hearted or easily offended.
Continue reading