Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote the novel this is based off, because not everything can be about weaponizing an academic’s neurodiversity, and it’s fitting that the person who invented the Lost World genre got his story into the first monster movie. Not only does it help explain the complexity and depth of the characters, in the text if not in the movie, but also how this ended up being a key part of pop culture itself. This begot King Kong, which begot Godzilla, which begot every sci-fi technician for from 1955 to 1970, which bigot visual effect you’ve seen since. And, obviously, Jurassic World Dominion. On balance, I think we have to give him a pass for that…
Tag Archives: action
Wanted: Dead Or Alive (1986)
Rutger Haure died in 2019, and he’s still got two movies to come out because he was just such an unstoppable powerhouse of great acting. Apparently, he himself said he was only brilliant in two or three of his roles, which is clear modesty on his part. So I picked this to watch as he was on the front cover, and I can comfortably say that this isn’t one of his best. But it’s also too interesting to not share thoughts on, so here we go.
Deathstalker (1983) is a terrible film
Quite often the phrase “for its time” is used when trying to evaluate movies, but I’ve no idea as to when the use of rape as narrative punctuation was ever considered an acceptable thing. I also appreciate that saying such things is a strong opening for a review, but when it’s in the lynchpin of the first, second, and every subsequent scene in this sword-and-sexual-assault fantasy its discussion needs to be as prominent as writer Howard R. Cohen and director James Sbardellati made it.
Attack Of The Lederhosen Zombies (2016)
I’m not going to pretend to have a vast knowledge of the Austrian horror movie scene and, until this film, I just assumed it existed rather than had proof it was there. So I was a bit surprised that writer-director Dominik Hartl made the first-ever Austrian zombie film, and decided to give it a try.
Violent Night (2022) is a must see classic.
The high-concept pitch for this is “Santa rescues a rich family from the clutches of armed criminals from the cut-and-weld version of Die Hard & Die Hard 2”. And if the recipient’s instant reaction wasn’t “KA-CHING£$!” they need to be fired. David Harbour is Santa McClane, and that covers half the bill by itself.
The Batwoman (1968) is far more feminist that you would expect from the poster
If you look at the cover for this and go “why, it’s just a luchador-themed excuse for Maura Monti to run around in a Batman-themed bikini” then the art department has clearly done their job, Written (probably, it’s hard to say when the translation undoubtedly cost a tenner) by Alfredo Salazar and directed by René Cardona, this is a one hundred percent unofficial cash in on the success of Adam West’s take on DC Comics’ caped crusader. That includes being campy and nonsensical fun.
Dust Devil (1992)
There is a lot in common between my blog and the filmography of Richard Stanley. They’re both essentially uncommercial works, they are based on a love of cinema and belief in the scope of what movies can be, and they both rely on introspection interspersed with brutal violence. But whilst I do quick reads about other people’s work for free, he convinces people to give him millions of dollars to make two-hour gothic epics set in random deserts. Also; he once got driven crazy by Val Kilmer, but that’s a whole other story.
Australiens (2014) is bonzer, mate
It’s another micro-budget genre movie, this time rocking it at a tight $15,000 AUD (I’m not converting that into GBP, because by the time I’ve finished this review the figure will be horribly wrong) gathered by crowdfunding. It stars a gaggle of reasonably talented people, including writer Rita Artmann and writer/director Joe Bauer, and it has a bloody silly title as google keeps going “Did you mean Australians?”. It’s also funnier than Bouncer being drop-kicked by Skippy, and about as polite.
Want a practical example of why bad films get released under multiple names? This bit of viewing was picked purely on the grounds of there being the word “cyber” in its title; so had it been seen under its “Phoenix 2” or “Droid Gunner” monikers then you wouldn’t be about to read this cautionary tale. Then again, had just that bit more effort been put in by director Fred Olen Ray then the following would probably have been far more positive. It’s funny how life works out like that.
Flash Gordon (1938)
Because “Why not?”, and as it makes picking viewing easier, Trash Or Treasure is going through every movie in “Science Fiction – Double Feature”, the opening song for that trash culture classic The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
And Flash Gordon was there
In silver underwear