As is the tradition, the final movie of 2022 put through the Trash or Treasure group watching was the Christmas-themed low-budget shonk-fest with the craziest premise that could be found. This time we were promised monster elves, Nazis, and some chap called Dan Haggerty. There was also the prospect of impressive hairdos, because it’s from the late 80s and that Ozone Layer wasn’t going to massacre itself.
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It’s sometime in the future, approximately a couple of years after the environmental apocalypse, and due to overwhelming personal debt generated by the Baby-Boomers, America is now owned by a variety of other nations. Obviously, that makes no sense, but neither does a movie’s antagonists traveling by rollerblade; something that requires the kind of well-maintained streets and pavements post-collapse societies normally don’t offer. Still, this is not a movie that’s going to let such things get in the way of having a good time.
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There is a lot of bad that can be said about this 1987 Troma Entertainment film, so let’s get it out of the way first and then focus on the interesting bits. It’s got very low production qualities, some of the acting is so wooden that you’d think the performers were cabinets, and its central premise and title are pure shock value. None of the people involved went on to do anything of any significance, it’s not notable for inspiring any other specific works, and it’s basically 81 minutes of musings strung together on one very daft idea. Serious Critics hated it then, Serious Critics hate it now, and Roger Ebert lasted 30 minutes before junking it in as he was bored.
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If there’s one thing Roger Corman likes in his movies, beyond wild excitement and firm budgetary control, it’s knowing that it’s going to make money. Sometimes that means going with a hunch and betting on an outsider idea capturing, and monetizing, the zeitgeist. Sometimes, like here, it means going with what’s been proven to work and hoping that there is enough of a wave of other people’s work to ride into the black on. Or, more specifically, several somethings that have been hammered together and, hopefully, won’t show the welds too much.
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I uncovered this film because someone asked me if there were any King Kong Vs Nazi films. I couldn’t find any such a thing, but I did find this 78-minute Z-movie masterpiece. Produced in the halcyon days of 2012, when having Nazis in a film wasn’t a political statement but an excuse to be brutally violent towards the obviously-bad guys, it’s a near-perfect, no-budget bit of filmmaking that just does its own thing. Its own thing is brutally stupid violence and a plot that feels like Hellboy on some very bad drugs. So, please be warned; this is not for the faint-hearted or easily offended.
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Trash or Treasure 