This was watched because it looked like a cheesy mix between a vampire movie & Cocoon and because John Saxon always adds a touch of class to a movie. The trailer was that kind of uninspiring middle-of-the-road schleppy that can sometimes be the snuggly sci-fi horror blanket you need.
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Rutger Haure died in 2019, and he’s still got two movies to come out because he was just such an unstoppable powerhouse of great acting. Apparently, he himself said he was only brilliant in two or three of his roles, which is clear modesty on his part. So I picked this to watch as he was on the front cover, and I can comfortably say that this isn’t one of his best. But it’s also too interesting to not share thoughts on, so here we go.
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There is a truth, often spoken uncontested, that Rawhead Rex is an utterly shitty film. Much like James Corden, it has become a byword for badly made, uninspired, and derivative trash. Thus, as a fan of all flavours of cinema (including the super-sour), I never bothered to track it down and only watched it because it was free, I had nothing specific to watch, and the algorithm spotlighted it for me. I was expecting a mild hate watch, and instead, I was just angry at all those who had pointlessly berated this perfectly acceptable film for internet points.
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This was found by HJDoom, of the now returned-to-regular-podcasting Bela Lugosis Shed, for their regular Sunday night Poor Quality Film Club viewing sessions. And, yes; I am going to plug the hell out of that podcast. It’s a great listen that you should be listening to too. So do yourself a favour and GET IN THE SHED!
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Hey, anyone interested in an okayish mild-horror time filler designed to get everyone involved paid and some time on the SyFy Channel filled? Well, do I have a very middle-of-the-road bit of inoffensive tepid entertainment for you! Because much like the real world of bulk movie production, not everything you haven’t heard of can be joyfully bad or outrageously crazy. A lot of it just does the job it’s supposed to.
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This had an enigmatic title, came from a noted Italian genre director, is being marketed under the normal quite crazy Shameless banner, and had a synopsis that sounded rather spicy. So as I was in the mood to try out something with a bit more European flavour than normal, and it didn’t look like yet another giallo slasher, it was worth a punt.
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I’d never heard of Jean Rollin before, so when this documentary about his life and work turned up I was rather excited to give it a go. As usual I had my notepad out, ready to jot down the odd movie that would be worth a look, but by halfway through I just assumed it safer to work through his filmography. I appreciate that a lot of effort when into making this a valid and informative collection of anecdotes and titbits for long-time fans, but I’m quite sure directors Dima Ballin and Kat Ellinger are going to take my uneducated reaction as a win.
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The entire description blurb for this is “They Find a Live Wyvern in small-town Alaska.” It doesn’t explain who “they” are, the l is needlessly capitalised, and my expectations were set accordingly. Then, in the first two minutes, we get a caption telling us the icy landscape is Alaska, and then a CGI wyvern turns up. I can’t think of better expectation management in a creature feature. Continue reading
These two have nothing in common; other than I want to share them with you and they’re both under 15 minutes long.
Treevenge is a film that asks “Ever thought about how bad it would suck to be a tree during the Christmas season?” and then puts your mind through the woodchipper with aboral based gore. It’s in turn surprisingly evocative, brilliantly observational, and brutally childish. It also knows exactly how much mileage you can get out of its gag premise and goes not a second over what can be made from it. Then again, the final shot is in majestic bad-taste so I’ve no clue what could follow it up.
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Noiseman Soundinsect “tells of the battle between the Noiseman monster that robs the people of music and controls the town, and the boys and girls who have been freed from the noise spells by the truth of music” and I’ve no means to say otherwise as it’s approach to narrative is “impressionistic”. What I can say is that it’s held me captive each time I’ve watched it and it’s a wild, colorful ride. It’s also only available below until the 17th of March 2023 so go watch now!
I may do more of these, I may not. Let me know in the comments or with your likes.
The Raggedyman
“We shall committ many sex crimes together, brother”
Trash or Treasure 