Nightmare Beach (1984)

Posted on September 22, 2021 by Raggedyman

I saw this one doing the rounds on the “so bad, they’re good” social media conversations recently, but to risk a fight with the people yelling “cult classic!” one too many times I can safely put this slasher on the “so bad it’s actually just a disappointing viewing experience” pile instead. And I use disappointing with great care because had the filmmakers put any care into it there was the chance of a decent film.
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The Gladiator (1986)

Posted on April 13, 2021 by Raggedyman

At some point in the production process of this Abel Ferrara movie, the decision was made to switch it from a theatrical release to a made-for-TV special. Whilst the details are sketchy, it appears to be how the wind got knocked out of the collective sails of all those involved, as what has moments of pure, befuddlingly creative genius manages to become drab and low-energy. Given that it’s a car-centric cross between Jaws and Death Wish, that’s quite the accomplishment.
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Transylvania 6-5000 (1985)

Posted on March 18, 2021 by Raggedyman

Have you ever wondered to yourself “What would happen if The Dow Chemical Company had a bunch of money it had to spend in Yugoslavia, and decided to make a horror-comedy there so it would get the profits in the USA?”. Well, if so then we have a treat for you in this 1985 Rudy De Luca-written and directed movie that appears to hinge on a pun that also hinges on a 1940s jazz standard! It also also hinges on thinking Transylvania is a country, rather than a region in Romania, and that you don’t really need a script if you have enough talented actors. Continue reading →

The Sisterhood (1988)

Posted on March 9, 2021 by Raggedyman

The post-apocalyptic Mad-Max cash-in genre has always been a fertile ground for questionable cinema, as shown by this being the third of its highly specific kind put through the Trash or Treasure mill. Something about finding a gravel pit, throwing an assortment of fantasy, sci-fi, and BDSM costumes on low-paid actors, and then just having everyone run around whilst things explode for the smallest of reasons instantly creates potential for a good bit of nonsense viewing. So, when the trailer for this Thomas McKelvey Cleaver-written and Cirio H. Santiago-directed 75-minute movie decided to change the rules and be about a bunch of women shitkicking their way through the dark future, hopes were raised for it adding something new to the old clichés. Continue reading →

Exterminators Of The Year 3000 (1983)

Posted on December 10, 2020 by Raggedyman

It would be a lie to say this film was selected purely on its title. The cover and the trailer both suggested that there was a highly enjoyable Mad Max 2 rip-off to be experienced. The expectations were set to “all the violence, all the post-apocalyptic wasteland couture, but with none of the plot getting in the way”. When it became readily apparent that it was an English script performed by a mostly monolingual Italian cast the joy and hope that this was going to be cinematic mayhem, unfettered by any artistic responsibility, was just added to. With the bar set that low, how could we possibly be disappointed?
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The Punisher (1989)

Posted on September 29, 2020 by Raggedyman

On paper, this must have looked like a brilliant idea. Take one of the most popular non-super-powered comic book characters of the era, use the core of their story to tell a standard vigilante cop story, and string together a bunch of fight sequences with an up-and-coming action star at the helm. It was the late 80’s and people were flocking to see that stuff, but for whatever reason, this Mark Goldblatt directed flick fell flat on its face.
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Meet The Feebles (1989)

Posted on September 15, 2020 by Raggedyman

Before being corrupted by Hollywood, and forever tainted by the evil of production budgets, Peter Jackson had a highly respectable career in New Zealand cinema as the foremost auteur of splatter comedy. Bad Taste, with it’s exploding sheep was his breakthrough moment, and Braindead arguably the highlights of his filmography and unarguably the bloodiest film ever at that time. But it’s his adventure into the world of puppetry that is “Meet The Feebles” that got run through the Trash or Treasure grinder this time, because what we really need right now is a meanspirited laugh and a hippo with a machine gun.
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Surf Nazis Must Die (1987)

Posted on September 7, 2020 by Raggedyman

There is a lot of bad that can be said about this 1987 Troma Entertainment film, so let’s get it out of the way first and then focus on the interesting bits. It’s got very low production qualities, some of the acting is so wooden that you’d think the performers were cabinets, and its central premise and title are pure shock value. None of the people involved went on to do anything of any significance, it’s not notable for inspiring any other specific works, and it’s basically 81 minutes of musings strung together on one very daft idea. Serious Critics hated it then, Serious Critics hate it now, and Roger Ebert lasted 30 minutes before junking it in as he was bored.
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R.O.T.O.R. (1987)

Posted on August 15, 2020 by Raggedyman

I remember this film from back when I was a nerdy kid, desperate to rent any sci-fi and horror movie I had never heard of and that the local store only had one copy of in. The cover of the box was amazing, simply staggeringly bold and enticing. It promised adventure, horror and shock, beyond belief. It was intimidatingly cool, so I never got around to renting it and stuck with safer options like Brain Dead and Fortress. Turns out that my adolescent brain may have made the right decisions though, as this is an absolute rust bucket of a film.
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Category Archives: 1980s’