Route 666 (2001) is worth a detour to see


If you’ve skipped over this before then I won’t hold that against you. The title belongs on a batch-produced teen’s horror novel that, the trailer looks like the footage was taken off of a VHS via a camcorder, and the cast is filled with “ooh, I remember when they were in good films!”. But I’m here to tell you that whilst there are a couple of problems with it, what we have here is a genuine, bona fide, hidden gem of a movie. Why didn’t it get bigger? Well, because it’s got that kind of quirkiness that makes it hard to sell to a mainstream audience and fun to watch for a psychotronic one.
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Identity (2003)


It’s not easy writing about thrillers with tightly packed, intricately layered plots, as you’re always worried about giving spoilers away. As such I’m tempted to leave this one at “The film is excellent”, “John Cusack really does look like a startled fish” and “you should watch it!”. You’re probably going to want more than that, but it’s true and it avoids me putting in clues carelessly. So, don’t say I didn’t warn you from the start.
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Mulberry Street (2006)

A regular criticism I hear about zombie movies is that “no one does anything different with them”. This annoys me for three main reasons; firstly, that there could be anything wrong with the classic plot of “people fine, zombies turn up, zombies eat people”. Secondly, because there is a massive difference between plot and story and it’s pointlessly reductive to confuse them (“person commits crime, they think they go away with it, turns out they didn’t”, I’ve saved you watching everything from Hound of the Baskervilles to Wolf of Wall Street), And thirdly because it’s so ignorant of all the amazing work that’s been done in the genre, even within the “confines” of it’s three-act framework.
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Gory Gory Hallelujah (2003)


Pitching itself as “an apocalyptic fairy fail”, and featuring the praise of both Llyod Kaufman (head of Troma Studios and psychotronic cinema royalty) and Richard Elfman (brother of Danny), I had never heard of this film until my father-in-law dropped it off as one of his £1 charity shop finds. Whilst the ridiculous cover drew me in, I was also interested by it being a “Von Piglet Sisters” movie. I wanted to see what director/producer Sue Corcoran and writer Angie Louise could come up with, as female created films are still less uncommon in Bargain Bin genre flicks, so sat down in anticipation and wondered “how crazy could this be?”
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Ink (2009)


Ink is a 2009 indie film; written, directed, executive produced, composed, and edited by Jamin Winans. It’s billed as “a Wonderful Life meets Sin City” and a “high-concept visual thriller”, and is a passion project that tells a story about a mysterious creature called Ink, two mysterious forces battling for the fate of a girl, and the redemption of an ill-fated father. This $250,000 budget film has managed to gain 86 ten-star reviews on IMDB.com since its release, and for the life of me I can’t work out why, because it’s pompous, dull, and irredeemable Trash. I appreciate that it’s harsh to cut straight to the final score, but given how bloated and overlong the film was, I felt I had to restore some kind of cosmic balance. Maybe if you value the ratings given out here then the time saved not reading the rest of the review could make up for the time wasted watching the film. If not, here’s some nice things before the meat of its problems.
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Infestation (2009)


It’s always a gamble to seek out and watch movies that are on the margins of quality; they could have their middling, C-grade rating because the work doesn’t gel with that wide an audience, or because the makers were trying something new and exciting and just missed the mark. B+ rated movies are a known quantity, it’s most likely that they are going to be good at what they are doing from the offset, and any issues are just going to be personal preference. D- films are just punishment for punishments’ sake, something you watch for pure snark or irony. But the middle ground is when hitting “play” becomes an adventure in its own right; an exciting land where things can go either way…
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Wrestlemaniac (2006)


If the idea of a Lucha Libre luchador taking apart the cast and crew of a low-budget soft-core porn movie, like Michael Myers after a visit to Dr V McMahon, sounds like your idea of fun, then watch this movie. If it doesn’t – which I can fully understand many people will have many reasons for it not to – then don’t watch this film. That’s really about all there is to say about this, as the box sells it as a wrestling-centric slasher flick, and the first 15 minutes make it crystal clear that that’s all you are going to get for the remaining hour of run time. This film, written and directed by Jesse Baget, does not mess around and you’re either in, or it’s utterly indifferent to you.
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Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001)

It feels good to go outside of your comfort zone, so as a straight punk-rocker I thought that it was about time I entered into a world that I’m not especially versed in and, to be honest, don’t always feel comfortable with: Rock Opera. And cause its LGBTQ+ History month, and I’ve been having the name pop up on my radar for as long as I can remember, I thought I’d give the film of the “Off-Broadway*” classic, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, a try. Written, directed, and starring the co-writer and star of the theatrical version – John Cameron Mitchell – it was a box office bomb. This was almost certainly because it was released in 2001 and is about an East German “girly boy” who’s rocking their way through late 80s and early 90s America, to stalk their now-famous ex-boyfriend. Still, if it was a big success I wouldn’t get to enthuse about it here.
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Love Actually (2003)


So this viewing came about because I wanted a real Christmas movie for this Trash or Treasure, and I couldn’t think of a festive film I’d rather not watch. This isn’t because I want to be edgy, but because most “touching romantic comedies” are filled with unlovable psychopaths. I then realized I really didn’t want to watch it, and you’d need to pay me £100 to do it. So the readers of this column did, and it’s going to charity and that’s the only reason I don’t regret watching two hours and fifteen minutes of raw trash.
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Returner (2002)

Ever since James Cameron asked the eternal question, “can I get away with ripping off an episode of The Outer Limits?”, time travel movies have followed a fairly set rote; man comes back from apocalypse, finds Partner/Scientist/Chosen One/Tits McGuffin, fights things through a combination of True Guts and Slow-Motion, and saves the day/saves the future/sets up a time-paradox you can drive a lorry through. So, after picking up and reading the back of the 2002 Takashi Yamazaki directed Returner, I was expecting more of the same but with a bit of gun-fu.
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